Are you motivated by Fear of Love? The answer changes everything

The Conversation That Changed My Perspective

 I had a good conversation with my friend Bryan recently. He shared something that slapped me upside my head. I cannot believe I am in my 50s and I am still having these giant aha moments about human behavior, motivation, and why people do what they do, even after my Human Design training. 

He explained something so simple, yet it unlocked so much understanding for me. He basically said, "There are two types of people. They are either motivated by fear or inspiration. Some won't move until life backs them into a corner, until the discomfort becomes unbearable, and fear is pressing directly against their back. Others move toward inspiration and possibility. They can feel called by a vision, an idea, by peace, purpose, growth, or freedom, long before things fall apart." 

And suddenly, so much made sense to me. I have spent years wondering why some people stay stuck in situations that clearly hurt them, why they delay taking action, why they wait and wait instead of moving toward something better. 

Fear and Inspiration: Two Powerful Motivators

What I realized is that many people are not wired to move because of inspiration. They move because of pressure. 

That realization gave me so much grace for the people around me, including family members I have struggled to understand for years. No matter how badly I wanted people to become inspired, some people simply need fear to activate movement.

 This explains so much about the human experience. I see this in spiritual work too. Some people seek healing because they are inspired to evolve, while others only seek healing when suffering becomes unbearable. 

Neither is wrong. But the energy behind the movement creates a very different experience of life. 

Some people build businesses because they are terrified of being broke.

Others build because they feel called to create impact, freedom, and abundance.

Some people leave relationships because they are inspired by self-love.

Others only leave when the pain finally becomes too much to carry.

Neither makes someone good or bad. It simply reveals what is motivating the nervous system. 

What Your Nervous System Has to Do With It

The nervous system often prefers familiar pain over unfamiliar freedom. Many of us intellectually want change while emotionally cling to what feels predictable. Clinging to the same thought patterns day in and day out. (This is where we read Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, by Joe Dispenza. An oldie, but goody!) 

Stop Waiting for Life to Force Your Growth

And maybe one of the greatest forms of growth is learning to stop waiting for disaster before we allow ourselves to evolve. Fear can absolutely create movement, but vision creates expansion. I think the real magic happens when we stop needing life to force us into becoming who we already know we are capable of being. 

A Simple Daily Question That Can Shift Everything

Maybe this is something to play with: What would it feel like if you did not have to wait for everything to fall apart before choosing yourself, your healing, your dreams, your peace, or your next evolution? What if you danced with inspiration and Love instead of fear? 

This month, I'd love for you to try this as your focus (or your homework, if that motivates you more!): Ask yourself this every day this month: "What do I want to experience today?"

Feel free to share it in the comments or email me, I always love to hear from you.

Much Love,

Dena